Thursday, January 15, 2015

Test Anxiety

As my school quickly approaches finals week, the tests are rolling in. Some classes spend a lot of time reviewing. If you're lucky, you've got one of those classes. Unfortunately, you also have five others. Most of us are dealing with AP classes, which decide that the chapter test must be taken this week, right before the final. Of course we also have to write that essay before the final, too. And also that project is due this week.
Welcome to the end of the semester, where the lower the grade, the higher the anxiety. Everyone is studying like crazy or at least freaking out, trying to calculate the exact grade they need on the final to get whatever grade it is they want in the class.
How is this helpful? How is any of this good for us? In life, of course there are deadlines. Of course there are times when we really need to bring our A game. But I find it very hard to believe that all of the things in our life are going to have those times all during the same week. Of course, that's how it is in college, and finals in college mean even more than they do in high school. So we're preparing for college. What about experiencing high school? All my life I've heard teachers say they're preparing us for the next level, so much so that sometimes I wonder if we're ever in the correct level at all. We're children. We're told that we're not mature enough for a lot of things, yet we're given these high stress situations and expected to act completely normal. We're expected to just get through it.
Many people have test anxiety, where they freak out before or during every test. Finals week is particularly hard for those people, who are now experiencing high levels of stress practically nonstop.
This post is for those people. For anyone freaking out about tests and grades and finals and projects and essays: it will be okay. Your life does not rest on your transcript. That doesn't mean you shouldn't study, but it does mean that you shouldn't kill yourself doing it. On this three day weekend of ours, don't hole yourself up with textbooks. Take breaks, eat some ice cream. Remember that we're all going through this, and that it will be over.
There's a lot wrong with out society, and I think how we treat students is part of it. We are required to go to school. We're told that what we do now is going to define the rest of our lives. Everything we hope to accomplish rests on this test. How is that supposed to make us feel? It's supposed to motivate us, but I think for most people it just ends up being really scary.
Test anxiety is real, and it's here, and you will get through it.

“I promise you nothing is as chaotic as it seems. Nothing is worth diminishing your health. Nothing is worth poisoning yourself into stress, anxiety, and fear.” 
― Steve MaraboliUnapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Not Giving a F***

It's a common mentality to "not give a f***". And I put asterisks there because I don't know who's reading this, but it's always best to stay clean. Still, that's the phrase we use. People have decided that they don't care. That nothing is going to get to them and they're going to say "screw it" to the world. A lot of people I know have this mentality, and I understand where it's coming from, but I don't think they know where it's going.
People think this way a lot of the time because they've been hurt. They've been insulted or told they were bad or wrong too many times. They've been heartbroken, and that pain is worse than what they expected. This emotional pain is too much. So they decide to stop it. They don't care what people think about them, so they can't be hurt by it. They don't care what people expect of them, so they can't disappoint them. They don't care if someone doesn't like them, they don't care what happens. They give up on giving a damn. The problem with this is that no one can truly stop caring. They're always going to care, now they're just pushing it all down.
My main issue with this way of thinking is that people seem to think that it means they get to be rude. Nothing, absolutely nothing, gives someone the right to be rude. There is no purpose to being mean. If they don't care what people think, then they're going to be brutally honest. They're going to laugh things off even if it hurts inside, expecting everyone else to do the same. Not caring if everyone dislikes them.
How is that any way to live? Knowing that you're hurting others? Possibly driving them to the point where they don't want to care anymore? That's just sad.
Where it gets even worse is that these people really need love. Everyone does, but these people question why they don't have it. Everyone deserves to be happy. They've stopped caring, so why aren't they happy?
The simple truth is this: if you don't care about people's feelings, you can't expect them to have feelings for you.
If you constantly go on and on about how you don't care what other people think of you, you cannot turn around and complain that that boy or girl does not like you back. People give back what they get. If they're getting no caring from a person, they will stop caring for that person. I wish people would understand that "not giving a f***" is simply ruining their relationships with people.

I understand that their pain is real. I understand that they want to turn it all off. But I also understand that by doing that, they're shutting out the people who do care about them. The people that care. So the next time you tell someone you don't give a f***, think about them. Do you care about them? If so, you may want to think twice about telling them to their face that you don't. The more you tell people you don't care, the more they believe you. And the less they care about you.

“The closest thing to being cared for is to care for someone else.” 
― Carson McCullersThe Square Root of Wonderful

so maybe if we all cared a little bit more about other people, we'd get that happiness we all deserve.