On My Own

Yesterday many things, including the song On My Own from Les Mis, made me think about the idea versus the actuality of a person. In the song, she sings about loving someone, but it has gotten to the point where she loves himmore in  her imagination, where he loves her back, than in real life, where he is nothing but a friend. She isn't really in love with  him at all, just the idea of him. A version of him that only exists inside her head. It's interesting how people do that. Unrequited love leaves the person to create the relationship for themselves, to think all the time about what could(but most likely wont) happen. We can be in love with someone who doesn't actually exists, and this happens when we aren't   actually close with that person. This has happened to me with camp, in that I'm friends with someone only through Facebook and texting, so I have this idea of them that isn't always completely accurate. I've never felt in love with anyone from camp, but I have talked to some people later and realized that they have changed. Distance does that. If we don't  see them, we cant see how they've changed, which I guarantee they have. Sometimes I've felt it happen to me. Someone likes the idea of me, but I could  be replaced by someone else. It's a strange feeling, and it's different than being liked for you. I was at a concert for my schools music program, and all that music gave me some time to reflect. To think about what it feels like to be liked completely for who you are, and then it became clear what being liked as an idea felt like. It feels the same at first, but I think a lot of jealousy is born from it because of that fear of being replaced. It happens a lot in forbidden romances, because they're in love with the thrill and "danger" of it. A perfect example of this is Romeo and Juliet, who fell in love just days after Romeo proclaimed his love to Rosaline. Then there's mystery romances. The people you meet for what   seems like barely a moment and you simply must see again. That's the Cinderella effect. The actuality and the idea of a person are two very different things, but sometimes they're hard to distinguish. I'm glad I was able to when I knew someone where we both just liked the idea of each other. It was a few months ago, but it didn't make sense before now. So next time you start falling for someone, or you already have fallen, think about which of them you like better-the idea or the real?

"I love him, but only on my own."-from Les Miserables