Irrationality

There are some things that I just can't quite convince myself to do. They're small things, irrational fears, that don't even seem like fears. I can't go ice skating or rollerblading or skiing or snowboarding because I'm absolutely terrified of it. I don't know why, but I just really hate it. I want to be able to, but I just can't make myself. I won't try certain foods, and there's no real reason why.
Those are all little odd things. The real big one that I've been thinking about is a number. Why can I not bring myself to ask for a phone number? Am I really that nervous around this guy? It's completely irrational, but I can't bring myself to ask someone I've known for over a year now to become better friends. There's no reason why that should be a hard thing to do, yet I find myself backing down, making excuses. I just don't have the guts to do it. Should I accept that? Will I ever move past this irrationality? Will this continue on, or is it just for this person? There's so much of it that I can't explain.
There's so much of me that I can't explain. There are things that I do and say and think that don't make even the slightest bit of sense to me, but I keep on doing them. That's life, I guess. I just wish I had the courage to do some of these things, because I know I'll regret it. I regret them every day.
I wish I could end this positively. I'll ask for his number. I'll try a new food. I'll tell him(different him) how I'm disappointed. But I won't actually do those things. I'll continue to take my few minutes every other day and I won't get his number. And I'll always wonder "what if". Is life just me looking back? But now I'm thinking about me in the future looking back. So I'm thinking everywhere but the present.
Maybe it'll be better to forget. To not care, to keep going. Just keep going. Just another step. Forget the worries, the irrational worries that eat away at me. Life has enough real problems, and I'll deal with them as they come.
"Highs and lows make you feel that things matter, but they're nothing."-from Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

How we feel may make an impact on what we think is important, such as how my feelings make getting this guy's number such a big deal in my head, really it's nothing. There's nothing to be irrationally afraid of, those petty things are nothing. There is so much else to be something.