Strength

Today I've been thinking a lot about strength. Not physical strength, but mental strength. The ability to stay strong through a tough situation, to smile despite the tears and laugh despite the pain. I've witnessed a lot of strength in my friends that I don't think even they see. Life happens, and we can't predict the emotional roller coaster it's going to take us on. So we don't know if we're going to be really happy when we happen to have a sad event to go to, or be really sad when we have a big party that night. Some people would not go, or allow their feelings to take over the event. Those people are the weak people. When they're sad, it's all about them. Now every once and a while that's okay, but this post is for the strong people. The ones who hide what they're feeling so that everyone else can enjoy that party and everyone else can live their lives. Those people are strong. They know that it's not all about them, and they can wait for their turn. It comes, but not right away. Maybe it's a day or two after their pet died that their friends can all give them a hug and talk about how much they all loved that pet. Those people can handle things, they can go through the worst things and it might be a while before anyone notices.
To those strong people: it's okay. You can let go. It's hard to be strong. To hold your own feelings inside because you don't feel like your feelings are important enough, or maybe you just don't like sharing, but you need to. I applaud you for being strong, but you need to talk. To vent. To scream. To cry. To laugh. To hug and be hugged. Now is your time. The more you hold it in, the worse it's going to get. You've waited through all your friends problems, through all the fun nights you didn't want to spoil, through all that other stuff that you told yourself was more important. It's not. The strong people are the ones that get left out, because they're busy helping out the others. They're looking after everyone else so much that no one thinks to look after them.
I was really thinking of one friend I have. At first, I was the strong one, and I broke down to her Thursday night about something that had happened that made me sad. She helped me tell our other friends the next day, and I was much calmer than when I had told her the first time. She held me up when I wasn't strong anymore. I finally had accepted that it was my time. If I was allowed a time to be sad, it was then. But then I thought about her. About how she was always holding me up and helping me. She makes these comments sometimes, and sometimes they're more than comments, and so far I've done nothing. I've been like every other person out there, thinking of my own problems and letting her be strong. But she deserves to let down her guard. To not always be the strong one, and I hope that I can give that to her. Maybe she talks to someone else, but part of me has this feeling she's like me, I just cracked first. But it's not a competition. Being strong isn't always a good thing. It gets tiring, frustrating, and sometimes sad. There are things that shouldn't be ignored.
If you have a friend that this made you think of, someone that you think might be the strong one, talk to them. Even if they don't think they do, they need to talk to someone. No one can be strong all the time. Well, maybe they can, but no one should have to be.

"'I can't do it by myself,' I whispered.
'You can,' he said. There was a tremulous note in his voice. 'You're strong—you're so, so strong. It's why I love you.' " -Shadow Kiss by Richelle Mead